Hair.

Another dream has come and gone.

This one, both like and unlike the others,
featured you.

You weren’t doing anything particular,
at least not at the start.

It was our first interaction in a long time,
but it felt so natural.

There was some greater plot at work,
this dream not wholly about us.

There was murder, destruction,
and a job needing to be done, but

I only remember us.
I remember you.

I sat on the couch,
or, moreover, laid

with my head on the cushion
and both legs flung over the back.

It was like old times,
sort of.

I forgot what my mission was
and where I needed to go.

I forgot that I was strong,
that I was powerful.

I sank into the comfort
of us,

but it wasn’t comfort,
exactly.

It was an unknowing
that I embraced.

Then, you interrupted
the stagnant air of

our quiet moment.
You reached out to touch my hair.

Gently, you pulled locks
toward you, and

I stayed still,
unsure of what this meant.

Outside, a war
carried on without our notice.

I looked at you,
wanting to say something.

Only, your eyes were so sad;
you looked lost.

I’d only ever seen that face
in the mirror.

I wanted to comfort you,
to say,

“Are you okay?
What happened to us?”

Yet, I awoke
with the questions

still on my lips.

Untitled

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” – Louisa May Alcott

I found this poem in my journal from early November. I have fond memories of this day. I laid in the grass with friends, soaked up the warm sunlight, talked to a cat, and drank some hot tea. However, I also had a migraine that felt like my brain was splitting in two. The following poem tries to describe that feeling.
**Updated in March 2020 

The walls move closer,
my vision goes blurry,
the pounding in my head refuses to yield
and I am crumbling
inward on myself,
on my feelings,
on my state of existing.

Everyone is locked and loaded for a war that should have ended years ago—
a war that shouldn’t have happened.   
There is no cease-fire,
but the medics enter,
the battlefield is cleared,
and my mind stops retaliating.  

It doesn’t stop for very long
so I sit, watching, feeling, waiting
as this war settles in.

New camps of men arrive to relieve the old ones.
Fresh blood anxiously waits to spill—from the ruin
comes new life. 

The battlefield becomes overgrown with black-eyed susans,
the sun beats down rays of healing—
there are no cries or screams for mercy. 
The last drop of blood, absorbed
by the forgiving earth.