I wish I was
as oblivious as the woman
driving in front of me,
who has had her right blinker on
for three miles.

I wish I was
as peaceful as a church
at night.
No righteous to tell me I’m wrong.
No saints to pray for my sins.

I wish I was
better at all of this —
the thing we call life.

I bite my nails when bored,
and I light candles to feel less alone.

Have you ever watched
flames dance, shadows on the wall?
I pretend each is a different ghost,
with their own story to tell.

I’ve got another year under my belt,
but I keep making new notches
for the buckle to fasten.

Sometimes I feel like I’m shrinking
as everything else gets so much bigger.

I never imagined making it this far,
and yet, I’m grateful to be where I am.

I’ve been thinking about you
and how you would understand these thoughts
of mine, without question.

You’d nod, dropping your gaze
just enough to appear as if in prayer.

I hope you’re doing well.
From what I gather, you are.

I’m happy our paths crossed
when they did, and I hope they
continue to as we zigzag through
this maze of truths and fiction.