I froze.
I put my head down,
unsure of what to do.
In the moment, I didn’t know if
it was for me, or more for you.

I stepped.
I slowed and tried to stay
outside of your periphery.
I became hyper-focused
with being invisible.

I dropped.
I hid in plain sight,
spotting beauty in a winter bloom.
Whether you saw me or not
doesn’t really matter.

I froze.
I froze.
I froze.

Of everything, everything
I thought would happen
when we finally met again,
I did not think my instinct
would be to cower, to fear.

Yet, these shaking hands
don’t lie. These eyes,
brimming with memories
of us and you and I, overflow.

I love(d).
I love(d).
I love(d).

It’s been so long,
and I’ve repaved this path,
covering the slosh of tears, snot, blood,
with gratitude, poetry.

Somehow, somehow
the tears, snot, blood
seeped through, my pages
drenched and indecipherable.

I tried.
I’m trying.
I am tired of trying.

But, tonight,
a friend asked if
the moon looked bigger,
and I couldn’t think
of another place to be.