I know I’ve said this before,
but it’s all too much.

And I know I will say it again
because that is the way of this.

The world crumbles in my wake,
and I can’t make sense of it.

I’m struggling to build a woman out of dust,
but the pieces don’t align.

Destruction reigns
as I look over my shoulder.

I’m scared;
I’m lonely with everyone.

How I wish I could share
all of this with you.

I’m not really sure why
anymore. I mean —

I’m cradling myself
at night.

I’m loving who I am
separate from you.

I’m holding my hand
when the darkness comes.

I’m facing the demons
as I always have — alone.

Yet, your name
drips from my eyes.

It’s not sweet,
but also not sour.

It exists in a plane
all on it’s own.

Maybe that’s why
it’s hard to pull away…

Yet, I don’t want to
reach for you anymore.

At least,
I know it’s not fair to.

And it’s getting easier
to breathe

or better,
to catch my breath

as your name
skims the curve of my cheeks.

The world is all too much,
and you,

you will never know
any of this.