I’ve thought long enough
to understand the root,
not of everything,
but at least this one thing.

I’d share it with you,
but it’s a bit personal.

I know,
I’ve shared personal experiences before,
but this one feels different.

It’s something that i don’t entirely want to admit,
layered with grief and desire and hopelessness.

I typically try to smother it,
coping mechanisms of sound-pigment-flesh
litter the floor.

It never leaves though,
just stays hidden long enough
to make me think otherwise.

I’m not sure what to do with it yet.
It feels like everything is slipping,
and if I loosen my grip, even a little,

I might cease to find the strength
to hold on again
and fall into the great unknown.